1 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:10,800 Captions made possible by Home box office, inc. 2 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,300 ( tv ) Puffy shirt, Puffy shirt. 3 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,633 ( laughing ) 4 00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:26,967 Uh, can you spare a little Change for an old buccaneer ? 5 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,300 You know, it's really Not a bad looking shirt. 6 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,267 Good show. Alright, good show. 7 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,900 ( phone ringing ) Oh, jesus. 8 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,833 Don't answer it, I'm, I don't want to talk to her. 9 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:41,233 Well, why does she have To call after every episode ? 10 00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:43,233 Oh, don't-- I'm not here. 11 00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:44,333 Hello ? 12 00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,133 Hi, marilyn. 13 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:49,467 Uh, yeah, We just watched it. 14 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:53,700 Yeah, I know, it's... It was one of the good ones. 15 00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:58,033 Um, he's actually, He's unavailable. 16 00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,400 Mm-hmm. 17 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:03,233 Uh, okay, bye. 18 00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:06,133 Tell him it was one of My favorite episodes. 19 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,500 It made me Laugh so hard. 20 00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:10,533 Oh, my god. I swear, it gets better Every time I see it. 21 00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:13,300 I can't believe this woman has To call after every single show. 22 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:17,967 Every, I mean, does it Ever end with this lady ? 23 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,400 What are you Doing tomorrow ? 24 00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,867 I'm getting my physical For the producers. 25 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,567 Can you do me A favor ? 26 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,500 Will you Pick up a, um, 27 00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:27,633 A present for The doosenbury's Baby shower ? 28 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:28,900 Me ? 29 00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:31,067 You're gonna be right there, There's a toy store right... 30 00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:33,500 You would entrust me With something like that ? 31 00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:34,533 A gift For a baby ? 32 00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:37,233 Just get a, A doll or something. 33 00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:40,867 So you want me to get A doll for betty ? 34 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,633 Get a doll For betty. 35 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:43,633 It's her Baby shower. 36 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,233 Well, what about The surrogate ? 37 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,733 Get her anything ? 38 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:49,067 I don't think you need To worry about the surrogate. 39 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:50,633 Well, I don't Know about that. 40 00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,067 I think the surrogate Is a person, too. 41 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,400 She's having The baby. 42 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,900 The shower is For betty. 43 00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,133 So she's gonna be Opening her presents, 44 00:01:58,167 --> 00:01:59,833 The surrogate's gonna be Standing there like an idiot, 45 00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:01,100 And she has Nothing to open ? 46 00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:03,933 The whole thing's, what's The surrogate etiquette ? 47 00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:06,633 Okay, use your judgment, Whever you think. 48 00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:09,167 If that's what you Want to do, that's fine. 49 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,900 Hey, charlie, What's going on there ? 50 00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,067 H, what ? 51 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,267 What ? Huh ? 52 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,167 Come on, you know I can't do anything. 53 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:24,167 Because the dog Bit your penis ? 54 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,200 Yes. 55 00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,500 And so you're... 56 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:32,267 It's not ready, I'm not ready. 57 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,633 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, A couple more days. 58 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:49,700 Mr. David ? 59 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:57,733 Can I make An observation ? 60 00:02:57,767 --> 00:02:59,733 That magazine Collection, 61 00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,733 You really need to do Something about that. 62 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:05,533 I'm not complaining, I'm just, Just making an observation. 63 00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:08,233 Well, the doctor's Ready to see you. 64 00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:09,700 Okay. 65 00:03:09,733 --> 00:03:11,933 Just, you know, Just for your information. 66 00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,167 F.Y.I. Kind of thing. 67 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,800 It's right that way. Okay. 68 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,567 What are you doing, 69 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,700 Stealing your magazines From garbage cans ? 70 00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:25,100 I have never seen such a Collection of shit in my life. 71 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,133 Alright, we have-- 72 00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:28,233 They're all four years old, Those things. 73 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,867 We have other things That we think about 74 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,967 Other than The magazines, 75 00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:32,433 Like giving people Medical assistance. 76 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:35,667 Ladies home journal From, from 2001. 77 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,800 People magazine. 78 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,367 Tom cruise is 40. 79 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,167 Emilio estevez is 40. Just, just keep walking. 80 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,367 Wow ! Okay. 81 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,133 Alright, good. 82 00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:45,567 Good for them, They're 40 ! 83 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,933 You know, it sounds like You're reading a lot 84 00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:48,067 Of these magazines You don't like. 85 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,100 I was looking At it out there, 86 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:50,300 It was right On the cover... 87 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,167 Yeah, you got a lot of That stuff memorized. 88 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,300 Give me a golf magazine Or something. 89 00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,867 I got the point, We got it, gotcha. 90 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,133 Get nation, How about nation ? 91 00:03:58,167 --> 00:03:59,300 Nation, that's a... 92 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:00,600 You read nation ? It's a fabulous magazine. 93 00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:03,133 I have read nation, That's a good one. 94 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,467 Hey, larry. 95 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:05,433 Hi, renee. 96 00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:06,533 How you feeling ? 97 00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,300 Good. Good. 98 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,733 ( beeping ) 99 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:14,067 ( beeping increasing ) 100 00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,233 Larry, how you Feeling ? 101 00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:24,200 Okay. 102 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:27,367 Unfortunately, I can't Give you a clean 103 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,467 Bill of health At this point. 104 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,067 Yeah, I don't know What happened. 105 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:33,200 There was a little, Slight abnormality. 106 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:34,533 We were going Along great, 107 00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,100 And you kind of spiked A little there. 108 00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:39,500 And I, I can't, I can't Sign the form for you. 109 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,233 Believe me, there's nothing Wrong with me, I'm fine. 110 00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:48,833 Jack, I'm fine, Trust me, I'm fine. 111 00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:51,633 Larry, I can't Sign the form for you 112 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,867 Without taking some Precautions, okay ? 113 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,067 And here's what We're gonna do. 114 00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:56,700 It's simple, Come on. 115 00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:58,167 There's no Irregularity. 116 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,667 Yes, there is, larry ! 117 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,167 Believe, I went To medical school, I know. 118 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,133 So what we're gonna do is this, Listen, it's simple. 119 00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,700 I'm gonna give you a device Called a heart halter, okay ? 120 00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:09,600 This is ridiculous. 121 00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:11,067 Larry, I have To do it. 122 00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:12,267 I have to do it. 123 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,933 It straps on, A couple of electrodes, 124 00:05:14,967 --> 00:05:17,333 You wear it for 24 hours, It measures your heartbeat, 125 00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:21,667 You come back and if this was An abnormality, an aberration, 126 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,867 The device Will confirm it. 127 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,800 You get back on the treadmill For five minutes, 128 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,667 I sign the slip And you're off to broadway. 129 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:27,833 Rene? 130 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,067 Do you hav The halter ? 131 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,333 You want to, you want To give that to larry ? 132 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:32,267 Larry, I'm gonna schedule you For an appointment tomorrow. 133 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,367 Don't be a baby, let renee Do this, will you please ? 134 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,600 Come on. Will you stand up ? 135 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,900 Will you take off Your jacket, larry ? 136 00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:39,800 Great. 137 00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:41,700 It's really easy. 138 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,333 There we go. 139 00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:45,433 There you go. 140 00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:46,933 That's it. 141 00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:48,600 There. 142 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,067 So, I got to tell you What happened last night. 143 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,433 You know, I took Renee home, you know. 144 00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:58,667 And, uh, we stopped And, uh... 145 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,300 Yeah, I just saw her At dr. Jack's. 146 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:01,300 He's unbelievable. 147 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,967 Yeah, she's beyond Unbelievable. 148 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:05,067 But the point Of it is that I, 149 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:07,933 Look, have you ever made it With an african-american ? 150 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,467 Yes. 151 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,900 Twice. 152 00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:12,233 What, the same One twice ? 153 00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,067 Two different ones. 154 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:13,933 Same time ? 155 00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:15,933 No, same time, Never same time. 156 00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:17,533 I'll tell you right now, I'll tell you right now, 157 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:19,233 For some reason I, I, I never, I, 158 00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:20,500 I never did it with, With a black... 159 00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,700 Hmm, so you never met, You never met one, or... 160 00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,600 No, no one I really, You know... 161 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,100 Okay, so she'll Be the first. 162 00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:27,933 This woman's Extraordinary. 163 00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:30,167 So, here's the thing, 164 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,067 A couple of months ago I went to a knick game. 165 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,367 And I went Into the locker room 166 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,633 To say hello to some of My friends, you know. 167 00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:37,367 And they were showering And I looked, 168 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,767 I saw one of The forwards. 169 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,367 And he just threw the towel off, He was getting dressed, 170 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,067 And I looked down, I saw... 171 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,067 Big ?Big, yea. 172 00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,800 Big ?Uh, ? 173 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,067 They could put the chicago Fire out with this. 174 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,433 It was... It was a joke. 175 00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:50,300 Well... 176 00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,067 It was like From another planet. 177 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,567 Well, he's a big guy, He's a forward. 178 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,633 You need to see a guard, Did you see a guard ? 179 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,433 You can't tell by a forward, They're too big, 180 00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:58,400 He's out of Proportion. 181 00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:00,767 I don't care, It's me and renee. 182 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,900 And I, and maybe because, Maybe because, you know, 183 00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,067 She's black, She maybe dates, You know... 184 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,267 So you think the black woman Might be used to a... 185 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,433 Well, I mean, if they're used, I mean, if that... 186 00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:10,800 Not a myth or, I mean, if it is... 187 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,967 I could see how, like, Yeah, it could be a concern. 188 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,700 I don't know whether I would Ever want to have intercourse 189 00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:18,233 With her, because I'm a little intimidated. 190 00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:20,300 And you're one of the few Friends I can tell this to. 191 00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:24,533 Okay, well, then maybe I can, I can step in. 192 00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:26,800 I got that 10th Anniversary present. 193 00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:29,067 I'm saying if you Want to, you know, 194 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:33,233 If you're too intimidated to go Through with it, I could try. 195 00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:34,367 A good friend Doesn't do that. 196 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,833 You don't, you don't-- You don't have intercourse 197 00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:39,067 With someone who Your friend doesn't screw. 198 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,533 Why, it would be a nice 10th Anniversary present for me ? 199 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:43,900 I'd rather go to tiffany's And get you a bowl. 200 00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:46,300 I don't Want a bowl. 201 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,233 Alright. 202 00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:52,067 Here you go. 203 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,533 Yeah, I'm not The valet. 204 00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:57,400 Oh, I'm, I'm-- Yeah. 205 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,267 It is possible for black people To have other jobs. 206 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,900 No, uh, no, I know, of course. 207 00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,367 Yeah, yeah, I already Know, man, okay. 208 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,300 No, because... 209 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:05,267 It's because I'm black. 210 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,400 I'm sorry. Yeah. 211 00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,067 You fucked up. 212 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,433 Sorry. 213 00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,433 Sorry. 214 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,733 So, you automatically think the Black man is the valet, huh ? 215 00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:26,767 No, I don't Automatically-- 216 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,067 Yes, you did, I saw it. 217 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:30,200 No, he's standing By the valet... 218 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,467 "Get my car, boy." 219 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,700 I saw it, larry. 220 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,400 He had on a white shirt, And a red tie and a vest. 221 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,367 He's standing by the valet sign, It's an honest mistake, c'mon. 222 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:42,233 Oh yeah, yeah, anytime I see A black man in a tie and a suit, 223 00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,467 I think "Hey, you must Park cars for a living." 224 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,800 I feel it was an Honest mistake, wanda. 225 00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:48,967 No, no, if it was a white man Standing here, you would not. 226 00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,367 Would have given him The valet, I, I would too. 227 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,233 I would, too have. No, you wouldn't. 228 00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:53,100 Too, too. No, you wouldn't. 229 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,233 No, you would Have asked him... 230 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:56,300 Too, too... Not. 231 00:08:56,333 --> 00:09:00,067 You would have asked him For a stock tip, or, 232 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,167 Oh, yeah, right. So, where you golf ? 233 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,367 How's the Filming going ? 234 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,800 It's good. 235 00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:05,933 I'm shooting Over there. 236 00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,267 On my little break. 237 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,467 Let me ask you A question. 238 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,767 You've slept with A lot of white men And black men, I'm sure. 239 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,433 Is there any Discernible difference ? 240 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,533 What ? 241 00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,100 Let me rephrase that. 242 00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:17,900 Let me Rephrase that. 243 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,067 Yeah, rephrase that. 244 00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:22,500 Um, is there any Discernible difference 245 00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:26,767 Between a white man And a black man... 246 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,133 You know... 247 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,267 Why would you ask me Something like that, larry ? 248 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,933 My friend Wants to know. 249 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:37,967 Why, what's The big deal ? 250 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,600 I am not gonna Answer that. 251 00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:42,300 ( spitting ) 252 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,333 That, what is that ? 253 00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:44,500 What the fuck, What are you doing ? 254 00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:45,967 It's a bug, a bug. 255 00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,067 I had a bug on me. 256 00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:48,600 Well look, did you get My script to that guy, 257 00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,133 That martin schaffer ? 258 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:52,467 Oh, oh yeah, everything's okay, Since I owe you a little favor. 259 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,233 Yes, he did. Did he get my script ? 260 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:55,567 And what ? And ? 261 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,067 I gave it to him, and he'll Read it and get back to you. 262 00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,767 He's not gonna Rewrite it, is he ? 263 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,833 No. 264 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,033 Okay, 'cause That's my baby. 265 00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,267 Oh, yeah, yeah. 266 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,633 I don't want anybody Messing with my baby. 267 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:06,867 Yeah, no one's going To mess with your baby, 268 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:07,867 Don't worry About it. 269 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,367 I'm going Back to work. 270 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,333 Yeah, go back To work, yeah. 271 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,467 Messing with you. Yeah. 272 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:15,367 Is there any black men around Here to, is there a valet ? 273 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,633 I need a black man To get my car. 274 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,167 Is there a black man In the area 275 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,033 Who wants to take My valet ticket ? 276 00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,600 Excuse me ? 277 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,467 Yeah, hi. 278 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,833 Sure. You work here ? 279 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,533 Is this The only doll ? 280 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,900 Yeah, that's The only one left. 281 00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,267 That's it ? Yeah, last one. 282 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,567 Huh. Isn't that cute ? 283 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,000 What's the race On this doll ? 284 00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:49,233 Uh, it's bi-racial. 285 00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:50,500 Bi-racial ? Yeah. 286 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:53,433 Really ? Yeah, absolutely. 287 00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:54,833 Huh. 288 00:10:54,867 --> 00:11:00,233 So, they make this doll Specifically for mixed couples ? 289 00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:01,200 For black And white couples ? 290 00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,133 They make a doll For their kids ? 291 00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,433 I don't know. 292 00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,800 If somebody's asian, And they marry a white person, 293 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,633 Are they making sort of a half Asian, half white doll, too ? 294 00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,333 See what I'm getting at ? 295 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,867 Yeah. 296 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,400 I think that's, yeah. 297 00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:20,067 Hmm, I wonder If you do. 298 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:21,233 Okay. 299 00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:24,600 Um, well I guess I'll take it. 300 00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,167 Excellent, let me Wrap it up for you. 301 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,500 Okay. 302 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,067 Oh, surprise, It says meow. 303 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,533 Isn't that Adorable ? 304 00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,833 Oh, I love it, Thank you so much. 305 00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:39,367 That's so sweet. 306 00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:48,767 ( whispering ) Thank you, You made it. 307 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,667 What, what is this ? 308 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,533 Oh, that's for my heart, It's to monitor my heart. 309 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,667 What ? 310 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:55,700 No, no, I'm fine, there Was an aberration in... 311 00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:56,533 My god, that's heavy... 312 00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,767 No, I've got Wires under there. 313 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,833 Are you okay ? No, I'm fine. 314 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:01,933 What does That mean ? 315 00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:03,100 Nothing, it's just, There was something wrong 316 00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,900 With the machine, The doctor wouldn't sign off. 317 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:05,967 It's nothing, It's just... 318 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,167 How long do you Have to wear this ? 319 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,400 Just a day. 320 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,667 Doesn't bernie doosenbury Look like steve demarco ? 321 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:11,800 No. 322 00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:12,867 Are you kidding, He looks exactly like him. 323 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,100 Yes. Steve demarco ? 324 00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,633 They don't look Anything alike. 325 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,067 Any time I ever Point out that 326 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,533 Somebody looks like someone Else, you always disagree. 327 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,067 Because they Never do. 328 00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,767 They always do. They never do. 329 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,267 Is that, hey, oh, She's opening our gift. 330 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,067 Oh, good. 331 00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,067 This is From the davids. 332 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,967 Oh, a doll. 333 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,067 It's a mulatto. 334 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,567 No good ? 335 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,700 Bi-racial is what We call it, usually. 336 00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:42,333 Bi-racial. 337 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:44,500 Hmm, what do you Know about that ? 338 00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:46,533 Oh look, they gave us Another one, too. 339 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:50,133 That's actually, um, For the surrogate. 340 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:50,833 Oh. 341 00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,567 Well, that's it, gang. 342 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:03,400 Um, why don't we have Some coffee or some desert, 343 00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:04,567 'cause that's it. 344 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,200 That's all The gifts. 345 00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,200 ( male ) Thank you guys for coming, Thanks for the gifts. 346 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,633 What ? 347 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,700 He. 348 00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:16,067 Thank you so much. 349 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,167 You're welcome. 350 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,367 I didn't expect it. 351 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,767 You're the one carrying The baby, that's your baby. 352 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,133 I wouldn't expect them to, But thank you. 353 00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:24,133 It's very Unnecessary. 354 00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:24,667 Yeah. 355 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:25,867 What do you do ? 356 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:26,767 I'm a writer. 357 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,067 Oh, that's cool. 358 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,067 Sounds good. 359 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,933 Yeah.Ye. 360 00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:34,200 Sometimes though, It's not such a great job. 361 00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,667 You know, like for example I got this friend. 362 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:40,867 She just gave a script To me to give to somebody. 363 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,967 She said, "Don't let him Touch my baby", you know. 364 00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,733 That's what they do. 365 00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:47,400 You work on something For months and months, 366 00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:52,067 Then they take it away from you, And then that's it. 367 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:52,867 You never see It again. 368 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,333 They take Your baby from you, 369 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:58,267 They give your baby To somebody else, And that's it. 370 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:01,533 You've lost complete Contact with your baby. 371 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:03,767 You never see the baby again, And it's your baby. 372 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,600 And they give it To another writer. 373 00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,933 And that writer doesn't let you Even look at your baby. 374 00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:10,367 But that's part of your job, That's what you signed up for. 375 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,067 I mean, you knew You had to give it away. 376 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,933 Sort of, but it's hard To give up that baby. 377 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,233 Maybe in a few years 378 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,167 You can see how your script's Doing or something. 379 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,267 Yeah, I know, but then It's all changed. 380 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:23,567 You have nothing To do with it. 381 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,200 Alright. 382 00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:26,133 You want to get Some coffee ? 383 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,300 No way out. 384 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:37,267 It was shocking, Outrageous, insulting 385 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,100 And I loved Every minute of it. 386 00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:40,467 No way out. 387 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,400 Hey ! 388 00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:43,300 How are you ? How are you ? 389 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,200 Hey. 390 00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:46,333 I am thoroughly Impressed. 391 00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,267 Well, oh, come on. 392 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,133 Yes, surprisingly good. 393 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,533 Still on the book, Uh, have you, 394 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,133 You don't have it Under your belt yet ? 395 00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,367 Funny you should Mention that. 396 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,333 Why is, is, I mean... 397 00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,567 We open, dude, we open In three and a half weeks. 398 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,167 Yeah, I know. 399 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,933 I mean, every time you work, he Always has the script, always ? 400 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,300 Yes, every time. 401 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,133 You know... Always ? 402 00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:06,333 I'll be fine. 403 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:07,667 You know, I have a little Problem memorizing stuff. 404 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,833 I'll be alright. 405 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,367 Did you guys get Your test results back, 406 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,267 The insurance company's Been bugging me. 407 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,367 Yes, yes, yeah, Yeah, I got mine ? 408 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,633 Here, here, here. 409 00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:17,567 Clean bill of health, Flying colors I might add. 410 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,433 Oh, results, I'm proud of you. 411 00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:21,633 And your, where's your Little, uh, paper ? 412 00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:25,233 Uh, I had a little Bit of, um... Problem. 413 00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,300 What the hell Is that ? 414 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,167 What is that ? 415 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,167 Yeah, I didn't... 416 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,667 What is that ? 417 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,967 It's, uh, called A heart halter. 418 00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:33,767 Heart halter ? 419 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,367 I'm fine, I'm fine. 420 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,367 Uh, I just didn't pass The physical, that's all, but... 421 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,300 What ? I didn't pass the... 422 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,133 What are you Talking about ? 423 00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,200 There's nothing Wrong with me. 424 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,767 I mean, are you Too old for this ? 425 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,900 Is that what he said ? 426 00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:44,833 No, no, no, I'm not Too old for it, believe me. 427 00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:45,833 It was a fluke. 428 00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:47,833 I'm fine, there's Nothing wrong with me. 429 00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:49,167 Seriously, seriously After three, like, 430 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,167 Shuffle ball chains He's winded. 431 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,400 Hey, you want To race me ? 432 00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:52,733 You want to go out, you want To go to the parking lot ? 433 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,600 I'll go right now. Really ? 434 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:55,233 Hey, fellas... 435 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:56,633 Put your sneakers on. 436 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,133 I don't need, I don't Even sneakers, I'll go... 437 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,067 Let's stop, let's stop Being juvenile, you can't... 438 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,333 I'm not being... 439 00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,433 Let's not race him, Now look, folks... 440 00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:04,533 Uh, excuse me, I'm sorry. 441 00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:05,667 Hey, dad, hey. 442 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,933 You don't think I could beat him in a race ? 443 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,600 I don't think you can Beat him in a race. 444 00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,067 Oh, can I tell you What happened ? 445 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,233 I'm on the treadmill taking The stress test, okay... 446 00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:12,967 I got the pictures From spain. 447 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,333 Oh, from spain. 448 00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:15,500 Yeah, I thought You might like that. 449 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,400 Oh, that's excellent, Whoa... 450 00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:20,500 If she comes in that room again, Tomorrow when I take the test, 451 00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:22,267 I'll be looking at the ceiling, I can tell you that. 452 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,467 Okay, that's great. 453 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,467 Alright, I think you're Gonna be fine, I mean... 454 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,833 There's nothing wrong With me, I'm fine. 455 00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,867 Okay, good. Completely fine. 456 00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,933 Did I just Spit on you ? 457 00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:29,867 No, no, no. 458 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:30,933 Okay, 'cause you Went like that. 459 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,300 No, no, I just, I always do that. 460 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:33,533 When I sweat I... I noticed that, 461 00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,500 'cause you're always Rubbing your face I noticed. 462 00:16:35,533 --> 00:16:37,867 Victor mcglaglin And adolf mondieu, 463 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:40,933 Gypo, gypo nolan, you Remember from the informer ? 464 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,867 Gypo, gypo nolan, I do, I love... 465 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,467 Gypo nolan. 466 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,067 Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, mr. Brooks, 467 00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,300 Can I introduce you To my dad ? 468 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,467 My dad's a huge fan, This is irving. 469 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,833 Oh, it's an absolute Privilege to meet you. 470 00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:53,800 Irving schwimmer, Pleasure to meet you. 471 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,533 Yes, pleasure Meeting you. 472 00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,567 I'm looking forward To seeing your show. 473 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,867 I've been a fan Of yours for years. 474 00:16:58,900 --> 00:16:59,767 Forever. 475 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:00,967 Well, I really Appreciate that. 476 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,600 Would you guys excuse me For just one minute ? 477 00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:04,367 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 478 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,767 Isn't that awesome ? 479 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,833 You finally Got to meet him. 480 00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:08,600 Yes, I finally did. 481 00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,500 So you like Those pictures, huh ? 482 00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,600 Yeah, um... Good, good, and... 483 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,067 Dad, this is larry. 484 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,533 Hi, how you doing ? 485 00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:17,433 Nice to meet you. 486 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,733 Right. So these are great. 487 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:19,900 My parents Went to spain. 488 00:17:19,933 --> 00:17:21,100 Oh ! 489 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,967 Well, I'd better Be taking off, okay ? 490 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,067 Are those genitals ? 491 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,333 What is that On that bull ? 492 00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,767 No, that's... 493 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,833 Oh my god. 494 00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:30,167 Alright, dad. 495 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,667 You told him about the whole Cashew raisin thing, right ? 496 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,067 You know, we're talking, You didn't have to go back 497 00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,167 And tell him, larry... 498 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,300 What, are you Kidding ? 499 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,067 I know you said something, He was so unfriendly. 500 00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,400 Well, of course I said something. 501 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,667 It was your suggestion, Mr. Constructive criticism. 502 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,600 Hey, he's putting Four cashews in a bag. 503 00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:49,733 He deserves some Constructive criticism. 504 00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,333 Go on about it. 505 00:17:51,367 --> 00:17:53,267 I want to call him, Seriously. 506 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:54,567 I don't think so. 507 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,067 I'd just like to call him And apologize. 508 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,200 I don't feel comfortable With you calling my dad. 509 00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:00,067 David, I'm going To apologize, 510 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:02,500 I'm gonna be very nice, Believe me. 511 00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:03,400 I promise. 512 00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:04,367 Okay. Okay ? 513 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,067 Just call Before seven. 514 00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:07,400 Alright, what's His number ? 515 00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:09,300 310-858... 516 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:22,433 ( dialing number ) 517 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:25,967 ( phone ringing ) 518 00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:28,800 This is irving schwimmer, please Leave a message at the tone. 519 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,367 ( beep ) 520 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,333 Oh, hi, mr. Schwimmer. 521 00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:35,567 Uh, this is larry david, I just want to say, 522 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,333 You fucking asshole ! 523 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,067 What's your fucking Problem, you prick ? 524 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,600 Jesus ! 525 00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:44,167 What the hell Is wrong with you ?! 526 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,933 Who the fuck do you think You're talking to ? 527 00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:46,700 What are you Doing here ? 528 00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:48,100 You bumped Into my car. 529 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:49,467 You think I hit your car ? 530 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:50,967 Ow I'm gonna fucking hit you Right in the fucking head. 531 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,267 Ah, oh !Hey. 532 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,067 Oh my heart, Oh, oh... 533 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,833 What are you doing, What is this ? 534 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,500 Is it your heart ? 535 00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,767 Alright, alright, Just calm down. 536 00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,900 Don't take them off. 537 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,833 Leave them on, you shouldn't Have took them off. 538 00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:03,767 Alright, uh, Oh, christ. 539 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,100 I don't know c.P.R. 540 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,467 Hey, hey, somebody Call an ambulance. 541 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,067 Call an ambulance, Call 911 ! 542 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,400 Send 'em to the park, Come on. 543 00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,567 Oh ! 544 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,100 Hang, hang in there, Can you breathe ? 545 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,067 Can you, keep, keep, Keep breathing, alright. 546 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,067 Whatever you do, Don't stop breathing. 547 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,700 Just keep doing that. 548 00:19:19,733 --> 00:19:21,733 You got a phone ? 549 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,633 Seriously, The guy was... 550 00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:26,367 The guy was coming after me With a tire iron. 551 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,667 I faked The whole thing. 552 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,567 Do you understand What I'm saying ? 553 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,533 This is ridiculous. 554 00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:31,467 There's nothing Wrong with me. 555 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,367 This is just So unnecessary. 556 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,333 Seriously. 557 00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:38,533 ( sirens ) 558 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,000 I've dated Both black men, 559 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,733 White men and there really Isn't a difference. 560 00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:04,967 It's, it's really Just kind of a myth. 561 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:05,933 That's a myth ? 562 00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,667 Boy, too bad For the black guys. 563 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,700 I know, I know. 564 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,000 You know, I speak From both sides, 565 00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:11,700 'cause I'm half black And half white, I... 566 00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:13,000 Yeah. Get out of town. 567 00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,033 I just bought A mulatto doll today. 568 00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:19,533 Okay, um, we don't really Use mulatto anymore as a... 569 00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:22,767 I was wondering about that, If that was a bad one. 570 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,400 Yeah, it's A bit outdated. 571 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,500 Okay. 572 00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:26,933 But if we all keep Fucking each other, 573 00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:28,533 Then we're gonna be the same Race sooner or later, anyways. 574 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:29,667 I do. Let's pray for that. 575 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:31,333 Hello. Are you okay ? 576 00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,933 Hi. Hey, this is masasa. 577 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,133 Hi, I'm cheryl, Nice to meet you. 578 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,933 Do you think, Do you think that, uh, 579 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:40,800 A bi-racial person Would need sun block ? 580 00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:41,967 I don't, uh... Would you think that ? 581 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,333 I have not Thought about it. 582 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,367 I guess you had to be there, We were having a conversation. 583 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,433 Are you alright ? 584 00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:48,700 Okay, mrs. David, It was lovely meeting you. 585 00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:50,833 And good luck to you And, and your... 586 00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:51,733 Thank you. 587 00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,633 Oh my god, What happened ? 588 00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:56,200 Oh, I'm... I'm perfectly fine. 589 00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:57,000 Are you ? 590 00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:58,567 Absolutely, Perfectly fine. 591 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,867 It was a road rage incident, And a guy came out of his car 592 00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,800 With a tire iron, He was gonna kill me. 593 00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:05,667 So, you know, I had the heart halter 594 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,333 And I faked like I was Having a heart attack. 595 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,167 I pulled The wires out and... 596 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,700 You did what ? 597 00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:11,567 I faked like I was Having a heart attack 598 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,533 So he wouldn't kill me. 599 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,367 So there's nothing Wrong with you ? 600 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,533 No, I'm fine. 601 00:21:18,567 --> 00:21:22,167 Then why am I here ? 602 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,400 Why are you In a hospital bed Right now ? 603 00:21:25,433 --> 00:21:27,200 What are you-- What are you talking about ? 604 00:21:27,233 --> 00:21:30,133 They took me to the hospital Because of the heart attack. 605 00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:32,133 So you're taking up A hospital bed 606 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:35,733 Because you're afraid of Some weird guy in traffic ? 607 00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:37,133 He had a tire iron, He was gonna kill me. 608 00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,233 You're in the hospital, If you're calling me 609 00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:40,633 To rush over to help you I would think that 610 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,067 There was something Wrong with you. 611 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,733 Oh, so you'd rather come in here And see me with broken limbs ? 612 00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,100 Well, I'd rather Not come in here 613 00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,533 And see you chatting It up with the nurse. 614 00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:49,800 I'm not allowed To talk to a nurse ? 615 00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,767 Well, you're having A good time in the hospital. 616 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,900 I don't understand, you just Wanted someone to kill me ? 617 00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,533 Is that what you wanted, You would prefer that ? 618 00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:59,733 By the way, what did You say to the surrogate ? 619 00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:02,567 She's gone into labor, She's here at the hospital, 620 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,667 And she's not gonna Give the baby up. 621 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,400 What did you Tell her ? 622 00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,900 She said she had A talk with you. 623 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:10,100 I didn't Say anything. 624 00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:11,300 Well, you must have Said something 625 00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,500 Because bernie doosenbury Is looking for you 626 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:16,067 'cause he wants To kick your ass. 627 00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,067 That's a quote ? That's a quote. 628 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,233 Those bastards. 629 00:22:21,267 --> 00:22:22,433 The fourth time I've been here, 630 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,367 And I still can't get This colostomy bag to fit. 631 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,067 It doesn't fit. 632 00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:28,233 And the insurance company Won't pay for it. 633 00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,233 It's full All the time. 634 00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:33,100 I don't understand why they Just don't take care of it. 635 00:22:34,933 --> 00:22:36,300 What are you doing ? 636 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,600 You can't Keep that baby. 637 00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:39,667 I was talking About a script. 638 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:42,600 I want that Panda back ! 639 00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:45,967 So, you know, I spoke To this, uh, this nurse. 640 00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,633 She's bi-racial. 641 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,067 Bi, what do you Mean bi-racial ? 642 00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:49,967 She's half black, Half white, mulatto. 643 00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:51,667 Bisexual... 644 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,733 Mulatto, they say, they don't Say mulatto anymore. 645 00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:54,233 She got mad at me. 646 00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:57,100 But anyway, she said she's been With black men and white men, 647 00:22:57,133 --> 00:22:58,367 And she said there's No difference, so. 648 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,067 Yeah. Really ? 649 00:23:01,067 --> 00:23:02,300 That's fantastic. Uh-huh. 650 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,067 Look at that. Yeah. 651 00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:04,733 Look at that. 652 00:23:04,767 --> 00:23:05,700 How fantastic Is that ? 653 00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:07,533 Isn't that Good news ? 654 00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:10,067 Wow, well I'm really, This is great news, by the way. 655 00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:11,500 I'm gonna see renee, Too, this afternoon. 656 00:23:11,533 --> 00:23:13,733 Oh, really ? I got my physical Again, yeah. 657 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,067 Wow, cool. 658 00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:16,167 Oh, did I tell you that Bernie doosenbury's 659 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,067 Gonna kick my ass, Did I mention that ? 660 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:18,967 You mean That big guy ? 661 00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:20,433 Yeah, the big guy. 662 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:24,600 Wait, wait, wait, Let me ask you something. 663 00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:26,300 Hol. 664 00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:27,267 Yes. Muggsy bogues ? 665 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,600 Alright, hey, How you doing ? 666 00:23:29,633 --> 00:23:31,067 I'm not gonna shake your hand, I'm in a bathroom. 667 00:23:31,067 --> 00:23:32,067 I appreciate that. 668 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,700 This man has bathroom Etiquette, alright ? 669 00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:35,700 I haven't touched anything yet, I just want you to know. 670 00:23:35,733 --> 00:23:36,900 Okay, I appreciate it. 671 00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:38,100 I'm a huge fan, Man, huge fan. 672 00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:39,167 Thank you. 673 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,433 One of the great Guards of all time. 674 00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:42,367 Absolutely, we really Enjoyed watching you play. 675 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,067 Thank you, Thanks a lot, guys. 676 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,600 Nice to meet you, man. 677 00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:45,933 Same here. Pleasure to meet you. 678 00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:46,867 Go ahead, Do your thing. 679 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:47,933 Okay, alright, yeah. 680 00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,833 What the fuck ? 681 00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:04,500 Are you looking At my dick ? 682 00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:05,967 You looking at me ? No, I wasn't looking. 683 00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:09,933 Crazy ? Oh, oh, oh, oh. 684 00:24:12,133 --> 00:24:13,400 You okay ? 685 00:24:13,433 --> 00:24:14,800 Are you alright ? 686 00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:22,400 * will be king, And be on top to stay * 687 00:24:22,433 --> 00:24:24,133 * on top to stay, hey 688 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,133 ( car alarm beeping ) 689 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:34,733 Think I'm gonna Steal your car ? 690 00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:37,633 No, no, it's just, I forgot to, 691 00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:41,200 I forgot to just Put the alarm on. 692 00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:42,133 It's not you, It's no race thing. 693 00:24:42,167 --> 00:24:44,867 No, no race thing. 694 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:45,900 Asshole. 695 00:24:45,933 --> 00:24:47,167 No, I don't even Need the alarm on. 696 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,200 Look, here I'll turn it, 697 00:24:48,233 --> 00:24:50,533 It's off, I turned The alarm off, look. 698 00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:57,367 Did it again, huh ? 699 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,733 So what, the black man In a suit parks cars, 700 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,500 Black man, no suit, He gonna steal your car. 701 00:25:02,533 --> 00:25:03,767 What is it ? 702 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,900 I can't do anything in this city Without you watching me, 703 00:25:05,933 --> 00:25:06,867 Following me ? 704 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,800 I told you I'm shooting Here all week. 705 00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,500 He just happened to be there When I turned around to, 706 00:25:11,533 --> 00:25:13,367 To put the alarm on, That's not my fault. 707 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,533 You saw the black man, you was Like, "Let me lock my car." 708 00:25:15,567 --> 00:25:16,667 You put the alarm on. 709 00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:18,667 The black man made you go, "Let me lock the car." 710 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,233 No, I just had, I just hadn't Done it yet, that's all. 711 00:25:21,267 --> 00:25:24,267 And do you think a black man Would want that piece of shit ? 712 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,100 Piece of shit, How dare you ?! 713 00:25:25,133 --> 00:25:26,733 Yeah, that's A little toy car, 714 00:25:26,767 --> 00:25:28,067 No black man Don't want a toy car. 715 00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:30,500 Black man want a car With some get up and go. 716 00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:33,267 I didn't think the black man Wanted the car. 717 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:36,633 So look, did, um... You hear back from martin, 718 00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,067 From martin schaffer About my script ? 719 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:38,933 Yeah. 720 00:25:38,967 --> 00:25:41,867 And ? 721 00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:45,933 Sorry to say, Didn't like it. 722 00:25:45,967 --> 00:25:46,867 It happens. 723 00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:49,833 Well, did you tell him I was black ? 724 00:25:49,867 --> 00:25:50,767 No. 725 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,567 Why didn't you Tell him I was black ? 726 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,433 Oh, I don't know, Why should I ? 727 00:25:54,467 --> 00:25:58,367 It makes a big, larry, you don't Know when to play the card. 728 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,067 I mean, you know, white guys, They love that shit. 729 00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,067 You know, "Oh, Look at me, I'm liberal. 730 00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,433 Helping the Black person." 731 00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:06,867 You should Know better. 732 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,067 That's when you tell Somebody they're black. 733 00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:11,067 Alright, alright, I'll tell him You're black, okay ? 734 00:26:11,067 --> 00:26:12,067 Fine. 735 00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:13,700 Tell him I'm, like, A brown-skinned black. 736 00:26:13,733 --> 00:26:15,167 Not light skinned. 737 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,067 Make sure he know I'm, like, real black. 738 00:26:17,067 --> 00:26:19,100 I hope I don't See you for a while. 739 00:26:19,133 --> 00:26:21,167 Getting sick of you. 740 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,667 Take your sick ass In the hospital. 741 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:38,400 Mr. David. 742 00:26:38,433 --> 00:26:40,633 ( phone ringing ) 743 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,900 Can I say that, uh, This is fantastic, The magazines. 744 00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:56,733 What an improvement, Unbelievable. 745 00:26:56,767 --> 00:26:57,800 I got to tell You something, 746 00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:58,900 It's one of The few times 747 00:26:58,933 --> 00:27:01,133 In my life anyone's Ever taken my advice. 748 00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:02,233 It's a pleasure. 749 00:27:02,267 --> 00:27:05,233 Well, the doctor's Waiting to see you. 750 00:27:05,267 --> 00:27:06,067 Okay. 751 00:27:10,667 --> 00:27:12,067 You know what I say to you now ? 752 00:27:12,067 --> 00:27:12,633 What do you say To me, larry ? 753 00:27:12,667 --> 00:27:13,967 Keep me waiting. 754 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:14,967 Can I tell you Something ? 755 00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:16,200 Tell me everything. 756 00:27:16,233 --> 00:27:17,800 It was the best waiting room Experience I've ever had. 757 00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:18,900 Glad you're happy. 758 00:27:18,933 --> 00:27:20,267 I'm very happy. 759 00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,733 Good for you, I'm seeing Right here that you're happy. 760 00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:24,633 Nice job, and did you Notice I got golf ? 761 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,933 I saw the golf, I picked up a nice tip. 762 00:27:26,967 --> 00:27:29,233 I got your golf. 763 00:27:32,467 --> 00:27:33,467 Hey, larry. 764 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:35,200 Hey. 765 00:27:40,067 --> 00:27:42,500 Oh, bernie doosenbury Called. 766 00:27:42,533 --> 00:27:44,233 I was able to reschedule His appointment, 767 00:27:44,267 --> 00:27:45,133 He'll be here In 10 minutes. 768 00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:46,533 Oh, very good, Thanks. 769 00:27:46,567 --> 00:27:48,500 Bye, larry... 770 00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:53,633 ( beeping increasing ) 771 00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:59,267 And the dispenser was destroyed Virtually beyond recognition. 772 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,667 Poor kid. 773 00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,533 So as he's telling the story, He starts crying... 774 00:28:02,567 --> 00:28:06,500 Oh, did I tell you that the, Uh, surrogate changed her mind. 775 00:28:06,533 --> 00:28:08,200 She's gonna give the baby To the doosenbury's after all. 776 00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:09,567 Yeah. Really ? 777 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,633 Hey, that's great. Yeah. 778 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:13,300 Oh, you know what ? Huh ? 779 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,767 I got some Good news, too. 780 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:15,600 You do ? 781 00:28:15,633 --> 00:28:17,467 Penis is healed. 782 00:28:17,500 --> 00:28:18,867 Oh. 783 00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:21,067 As soon as I get rid Of this heart halter, 784 00:28:21,067 --> 00:28:23,067 I'm back In business, baby. 785 00:28:25,167 --> 00:28:27,567 I can't Do those things. 786 00:28:32,067 --> 00:28:33,800 ( phone ringing ) 787 00:28:33,833 --> 00:28:35,233 It's marilyn. Marilyn. 788 00:28:35,267 --> 00:28:36,233 Don't pick it up. Yeah, yeah. 789 00:28:36,267 --> 00:28:38,233 I'm not talking To her tonight. 790 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:43,733 Goodnight. 791 00:28:43,767 --> 00:28:45,767 ( larry on machine ) Hi, please leave Your name and number 792 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,067 And someone will get Back to you, thank you. 793 00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:50,433 ( beep ) 794 00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,167 This is Irv schwimmer. 795 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,867 You motherfucking cocksucking Sonofabitch bastard. 796 00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:57,800 Who the fuck do you Think you are ?! 797 00:28:57,833 --> 00:28:59,133 You bald sonofa-- 798 00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:02,167 Captions copyright 2004 Home box office, inc. 799 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,600 Captioned by Hbo communications center